1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,879 ? It seems today that all you see ? 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:08,174 ? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ? 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:12,053 ? But where are those good old-fashioned values ? 4 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,847 ? On which we used to rely? ? 5 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,142 ? Lucky there's a family guy ? 6 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,604 ? Lucky there's a man who positively can do ? 7 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,189 ? All the things that make us ? 8 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,024 ? Laugh and cry ? 9 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:30,155 ? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ? 10 00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,075 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.addic7ed.com - 11 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,327 I'm home from camp. 12 00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:38,830 - Welcome home. - Meg's been wearing your clothes. 13 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,918 Ah, my big man. 14 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,461 How was Camp Angry Indian? 15 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,755 Oh, they had to rename it Camp Redface. 16 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,800 Then soon after, Camp Washington Football Team. 17 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:53,427 But camp was awesome. 18 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,137 I got a girlfriend. 19 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,514 She's smoking hot, 20 00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:59,225 and she has some off the charts scary political views, 21 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,269 but largely because of the smoking hot thing, 22 00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:03,187 we've decided to stay together. 23 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,356 My boy has a girlfriend? 24 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,358 Oh, Chris, that's amazing. 25 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:10,361 Good job, Chris. You've really impressed your old dad. 26 00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:13,114 Like Richard Gere's gerbil impressed his dad. 27 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,700 Hello? 28 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:18,119 GERBIL SON ; Dad, you're never gonna believe 29 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,871 where I am. 30 00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,417 Freaking Doug. 31 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,460 "Gooey Stewie, Gooey Stewie. 32 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:28,504 Eats all day and now he's ooey". 33 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,256 Yeah, right. I'll show him. 34 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,508 Whoa, since when do you have a treadmill? 35 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,510 I took it from a Curves. 36 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,345 They mostly just lie on mats. 37 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,435 Brian, help! 38 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,437 - Hey. - Hey. 39 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,856 - Bizarro Family Guy? - Bizarro Family Guy. 40 00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:48,775 It's just the fire. 41 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:59,036 Peter, how is a stud finder gonna help with this? 42 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:04,457 Beep, beep, beep. Looks like I found the stud. 43 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,669 Oh, I know we have our differences, 44 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:11,422 but stuff like that, it-it... man, it's just... 45 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:13,507 I just... it's-it's fun. 46 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,885 Enough, Peter. I'm calling a handyman. 47 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:18,889 Fine. What's in here, anyway? 48 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,099 - Bizarro Peter? - Bizarro Peter. 49 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,894 It's just that I'm reading. 50 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,441 Peter, how many times do I have to tell you 51 00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:32,318 to stop leaving your wet swimsuit 52 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,778 at the bottom of the stairs? 53 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,738 I never know when I'll be back in the sprinklers. 54 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:38,449 I got to be able to grab and go when they start spraying. 55 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,993 Ugh, you're impossible. 56 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,411 See that, Chris? 57 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:45,247 In the Hungry Hungry Hippos game of marriage, 58 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,166 I just ate one of her marbles. 59 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,752 I don't think you should be proud of that, Dad. 60 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,921 - Excuse me? - Let me give you a nickel's worth 61 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:55,591 of free advice from one happily taken man to another. 62 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,301 We've got two of these 63 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,969 and only one of these, 64 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:02,306 so we should listen twice as much as we talk. 65 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:05,851 Remember, Dad, never question your wife's choices. 66 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,563 After all, you were one of them. 67 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,399 I love cooking with wine. 68 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,317 Sometimes, I even put it in the food. 69 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:16,487 Are you just quoting aprons you saw in a kitchen magazine? 70 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,864 The last few, yes. Now, if you'll excuse me, 71 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,033 I have a Chaturbate date with my love. 72 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,285 Isn't it hard to find each other on there? 73 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:26,164 Yeah, but that's part of the dance. 74 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:32,002 Hey, Jerome, could I get a Twisted Tea over here? 75 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,965 Uh-oh. Never a good sign when a guy strays from linear tea. 76 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,509 - Everything okay, Peter? - Eh, it's just Chris. 77 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,970 Ever since he got a girlfriend, he's been insufferable. 78 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,097 Chris got a lady? That's great. 79 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,015 Do we know anything about this girl? 80 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,643 All I know is he met her at camp, and she's from Canada. 81 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,562 Trouble. 82 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,480 Have you seen Chris Face Time her 83 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,315 or heard her on the phone or anything? 84 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,859 - No, why? - Peter, 85 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,360 I don't know how to say this, 86 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,154 but Canada is kind of a red flag. 87 00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,239 Yeah, and white, with a big leaf in the middle. 88 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,824 You're awesome at flags. So what? 89 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:04,368 I hear Canada has a pretty handsome prime minister. 90 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,828 It's Tru-deau. 91 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:08,372 Think about it, Peter, a Canadian camp girlfriend 92 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,874 nobody has ever seen? 93 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,542 Seems a bit suspicious to me. 94 00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,252 What, you think he made her up? 95 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,879 Chris wouldn't lie about this. 96 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,964 You'd be surprised at what people lie about. 97 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,717 Cleveland claims he likes Miller Lite because it tastes great. 98 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,594 - It does. - It's less filling. 99 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,387 - Tastes great. - Less filling! 100 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,600 The Great American Beer Conflict. 101 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,351 Brother fought brother, 102 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,270 mother fought daughter, 103 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,189 father fought son. 104 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,648 A nation divided 105 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:37,526 over which was the least trashy quality 106 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,989 of a crappy, domestic river beer. 107 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:48,037 - Door! - I know! 108 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,497 Sheesh-kabibbles. 109 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:50,790 Who is it? 110 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,667 Oh, probably just the handyman here to fix the... 111 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:55,669 Bocce balls! 112 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:03,135 Hi there, young lady. I'm Jamie the Handyman. 113 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,846 I heard you had a hole that needed to be filled. 114 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:08,808 Yes. 115 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,434 Is that a big job? 116 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,269 Nothing my caulk can't handle. 117 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,355 So you just... 118 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,607 fill the hole with your caulk? 119 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,859 Yes, it's very thick, 120 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,861 and it stays hard forever. 121 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,951 We have liftoff on Operation Thirsty Housewife. 122 00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,786 Repeat, we have liftoff. 123 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,432 I didn't say you could be in this. 124 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:53,060 Well, it's still a bit moist, but should dry up soon. 125 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,979 LOIS, MEG and STEWIE: Don't count on it. 126 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,063 - What's that? - Nothing. 127 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,773 Hey, um, I was hoping 128 00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,441 maybe you could come back tomorrow 129 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,945 and fix our... sink or-or something? 130 00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,573 Well, I usually charge a minimum of two hours, so... 131 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,617 why don't you call me when you have a few things for me to... 132 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,376 Okay, so for tomorrow, 133 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,836 could you fix a few windows, 134 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,838 a door ripped off its hinges 135 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,048 and a thermostat that was smashed with a... 136 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,384 Fire poker. 137 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,636 Whoa, talk about flaming hot. 138 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,472 Bizarro Stewie, you rascal. 139 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,600 We're buds now. 140 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,436 Still getting used to that. 141 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:41,901 Peter, the stairs are all wet from your swimsuit aga... 142 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,823 Put these in the shower. 143 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:51,035 Lois, I work hard to keep this family 144 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,787 in wet bathing suits, and at the end of the day, 145 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,998 all I want is to come home, relax, 146 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:58,417 do a couple of rad jumps through Sprinkler City, 147 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,711 and then enjoy a Popsicle on the front steps 148 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:01,921 while I look at bugs. 149 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,839 We don't deserve this guy. 150 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,966 Hey, Dad? Rule number one, 151 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,801 your wife is always right. 152 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,429 Rule number two, if your wife is wrong, 153 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,264 please refer to rule number one. 154 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,684 I got to text that to my girl later. 155 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:16,936 Why not right now? 156 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,521 Oh, she's probably eating dinner, 157 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,899 and we believe family time is special. 158 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,776 Uh-huh. So, Chris, 159 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,153 what's this "girl's" name, anyway? 160 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,988 Jennifaire. 161 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,531 Well, I'd love to see 162 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,034 Jennifaire's Facebook page. 163 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:34,703 Oh, we don't really believe in social media, 164 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,998 but I can show you a picture. 165 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:39,875 What is this? 166 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,835 It's an ad for Tim Hortons in Canada. 167 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:43,170 She's a model for them. 168 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,965 She gets her weight in coffee free every month. 169 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,634 - That's too much coffee. - I also love coffee. 170 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,720 It's important in relationships to have shared interests. 171 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,430 You could learn from that, Dad. 172 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,766 Look, I may have relationship problems, 173 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,851 but at least I have a real relationship. 174 00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,561 What are you saying? 175 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,730 You don't have a girlfriend. You made her up. 176 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,941 No, I didn't. She's real. 177 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,151 She's real, huh? Well, then, let's go see her. 178 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,946 You and I are going to Canada first thing in the morning. 179 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,991 Peter, don't forget, you get the flu shot tomorrow morning. 180 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,283 We're going to Canada right now. 181 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,368 And then, after, 182 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,286 you're supposed to have your prostate exam. 183 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,913 Tomorrow afternoon, we go to Canada. 184 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,041 And then on Friday, we refill your Percocet prescription. 185 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,294 Sometime next week, we're going to Canada. 186 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,300 Peter, this is ridiculous. 187 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,428 You don't have to drive all the way to Canada 188 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:33,721 just to prove a point. 189 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,181 Don't worry, Lois, he's gonna crack way before that. 190 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,392 Well, at least bring this thick sweater. 191 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,811 Canada is its only chance to get out. 192 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,479 Larry. 193 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,524 See you on the other side, boys, and when I get there, 194 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,109 I'll send you a cable. 195 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,528 This fall, Pixar presents: Sweaters. 196 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,949 Pixar: We're not a guaranteed home run anymore. 197 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,999 Wow, this short skirt is making my legs 198 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,127 look long and sexy. 199 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,463 Long legs, huh? 200 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,777 Everything okay? 201 00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:33,448 Give us one sec, okay, Jamie? 202 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,116 What the hell are you doing? 203 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,035 Showing Jamie I have the sexiest 204 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,329 and longest legs in this house. 205 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,623 Oh, this is Mama's show, Meg. 206 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:46,126 What are you talking about? You've got Dad. Jamie's mine. 207 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:49,963 Look, your dad's away, and it's time to load up my spank bank. 208 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,508 All I need is one hug with a lower-back brush 209 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:55,010 and a sniff of the neck, and I'm good for six years. 210 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,096 It's not happening, old lady. 211 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,765 Meg, I'm warning you, if you don't back off, 212 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,391 I will end you. 213 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,601 You wouldn't dare. 214 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:14,696 Only 100,000 meters to Canada. 215 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,240 You stuck to your guns. 216 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,450 No shame in admitting there's no girlfriend now. 217 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,161 I'm not admitting something that's not true. 218 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,664 Well, hey, because you definitely have a girlfriend, 219 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,125 maybe you can tell me how you take a bra off. 220 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,085 You just start blindly tugging 221 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,379 until they sigh and do it themselves. 222 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,298 Been watching your old man, huh? 223 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,426 Well, it sounds like you're quite the relationship expert. 224 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,679 I'm sure you can tell me what sex is like. 225 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,848 I could, or maybe 226 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:43,600 you could tell me what sex is like. 227 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:47,313 Oh, I could for sure tell you exactly what sex is like. 228 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,233 ? I got a brand-new pair of roller skates ? 229 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:54,111 ? You got a brand-new key ? 230 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,780 ? I think that we should get together ? 231 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,825 ? And try them out, you see ? 232 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,536 ? I been looking around a while ? 233 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,830 ? You got something for me ? 234 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:08,417 ? Oh, I got a brand-new pair of roller skates ? 235 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,546 ? You got a brand-new key. ? 236 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,549 Jamie will be here any minute to start on some repairs. 237 00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,551 I don't want any more drama, Meg. 238 00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,261 You won't get any from me. 239 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:23,348 Hey, there's the birthday girl. 240 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,019 What? What are you talking about? 241 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:32,274 Hi. I'm with Kassabian Sheep Shearing. 242 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,444 I'm here to shave Meg's back. 243 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:42,576 So, my doctor was like, "Oh, my gosh, you're so young 244 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:45,037 you should probably be going to a pediatrician." 245 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,496 A baby doctor? 246 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,208 Yeah, no, j-just as a joke because, you know, 247 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,168 I seem so young, I think. 248 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:53,545 Hey, Mom, I'm doing a school report. 249 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,422 Who was president when you were born? 250 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:58,133 Uh, Dwight D. Ei... Oh, you bitch. 251 00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,677 Clinton. Dwight D. Clinton. 252 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:04,723 I did not have sexual relations with that woman 253 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,808 because I am extremely old 254 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,187 and have a windsock penis. 255 00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,816 Look, I know how attached you are to your girl, 256 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:19,029 but I for one am very curious to see a Canadian strip club. 257 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:25,702 Fellas, put your mittens together for Brandi. 258 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:46,723 God, just imagine when she takes off 259 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,433 her middle pair of socks. 260 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,394 Dad, what are we even doing here? 261 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,396 I'm in a committed relationship. 262 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,731 Geez, relax. I figured maybe you'd like seeing 263 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:55,941 a real girl or two. 264 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,192 Real girl? 265 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,069 I can't believe you still won't accept 266 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,445 that I have a girlfriend. 267 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,656 It's just, it's just, it's not adding up. 268 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:05,867 Oh, please. Mom's way out of your league, 269 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:08,829 so why can't you get it through your thick and huge head 270 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,539 that I found someone great? 271 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,333 Head's not that huge, and Mom is not way out of my league. 272 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,544 We both have strengths and weaknesses as people. 273 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:18,213 Shut up. You're the luckiest guy on earth. 274 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,507 Mom's hot and does everything. 275 00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,634 You're not hot and do nothing. 276 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,886 You know why I don't believe you have a girlfriend? 277 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,848 - Why? - Because you're a fat loser. 278 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,644 I hate you. 279 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,147 Ah, Chris, I didn't mean... 280 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:38,817 Oh, no, I probably just ruined his self-esteem forever. 281 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,778 Please welcome our next dancer, 282 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,739 Chris Griffin. 283 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:48,369 This is because of you, Daddy. 284 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,003 Come on, Chris, get in the car. 285 00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:01,048 No. You called me a fat loser. 286 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:04,594 Yeah, like P-H, phat, and P-H, loser. 287 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:07,846 Okay, I didn't want to resort to this, 288 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,349 but I have a Mountain Dew with limited-edition 289 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,435 X Games packaging in here. 290 00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,562 You're playing dirty pool. 291 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:18,483 As a teen, I'm required to be excited by that. 292 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:23,570 Wow, flatland skateboarder Rodney Mullen. 293 00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,241 Ah. 294 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:31,078 As soon as I finish this bottle and then bring it home 295 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,080 to put on a display shelf in my room, 296 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,666 I'm going back to walk on the road. 297 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:40,921 Hey, Jamie. 298 00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:43,340 I just baked some cookies when you're ready for a break. 299 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,384 Man, you guys are spoiling me. 300 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,595 Let me work on these gutters first. 301 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,503 I'm okay. 302 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:22,672 Oh, thank God. 303 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,050 Oh, my God, Jamie. 304 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,385 Ja... 305 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:31,722 It's out. It's out. It's very out. 306 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,061 And as they say, 307 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,147 when God takes a handyman, 308 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:42,315 he must need a cloud fixed. 309 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:45,944 We miss you, Jamie. Our Carhartts are broken. 310 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,865 Now, please join us for an Arby's catered reception. 311 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:52,659 We ask that you leave your cups and cigarette butts 312 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,287 on the ground or in attic crawl spaces 313 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,582 to be found years later. 314 00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:06,673 I-I can't... You look so much like him. 315 00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,341 Jamie was my twin brother. 316 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,927 Oh, you must be so sad. 317 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,971 Are you also a handyman? 318 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,598 No, I'm an inner thigh masseuse, 319 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,516 specializing in moms in their 40s. 320 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:20,353 You must need a hug. 321 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,112 In Florida, which is where I'm headed back to now. 322 00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:30,907 Nice meeting you. 323 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,579 Sorry, bro. Three's a tough number for travel. 324 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,548 Maybe we should try the radio. 325 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:51,009 You're listening to Canadian Sports Talk Radio. 326 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,677 How a boot our teams, eh? 327 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,930 They're all oot there trying super hard, 328 00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,556 and that's what matters most. 329 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,558 Yeah, outstanding effort all around. 330 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,227 What a neat group of guys. 331 00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,478 Great point, bud. 332 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:04,356 The players are nice, and coach does the best he can... 333 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,982 Bunch of bums. 334 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:14,157 - You okay? - What do you care? 335 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,414 I'm sorry for calling you a fat loser. 336 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,875 It really hurt my feelings. 337 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,418 Why would you do that? 338 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,671 Well, this is hard for me to admit, but... 339 00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,673 I used to be a fat loser. 340 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:30,715 What? 341 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:31,883 In high school, 342 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,885 I said I had a hot Canadian girlfriend 343 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,304 and that she was the Vanna White of Canada. 344 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,431 Nobody believed me, so I made up a game show 345 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,392 at an all-school assembly to prove it. 346 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,728 Okay, so earlier, you said the winner of round one 347 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:46,398 - is immune from the sudden death round? - They are. 348 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,441 But our handout says the sudden death round 349 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,360 is part of the champions circle, 350 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,028 which determines the winner. 351 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,907 So, the round one winner can't win the game? 352 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:05,792 Eventually, it all worked out. I met your mom, 353 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:08,128 I Brett Kavanaugh-ed her up some stairs 354 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,796 and accidentally had Meg. 355 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,173 But high school was a rough couple of years. 356 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,801 Wow, Dad, I-I had no idea. 357 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,678 I never told anyone that story. 358 00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:19,097 I just wanted to save you from some of the pain 359 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,724 and humiliation I went through. 360 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,642 You and I are a lot alike. 361 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:23,977 You think so? 362 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,562 I know so. 363 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,564 I sure do love you, son. 364 00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,357 I love you, too, Dad. 365 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,325 - This the spot? - Looks like it. 366 00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,452 I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself 367 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,786 about your girlfriend. 368 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,663 I'm glad we took this trip together. 369 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,416 Me, too, Dad. 370 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:56,344 Hey, Dad, I just wanted to say thanks. 371 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,656 There's no girlfriend. 372 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,783 I made the whole thing up. 373 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:23,328 I guess we're both a couple of fat losers, huh, Dad? 374 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,788 It's okay, buddy. 375 00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:26,456 And what do you say we head home? 376 00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:28,291 And on the way, we can even watch 377 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:29,793 that new Pixar movie Sweaters. 378 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:33,464 - Another home run? - You bet it might be. 379 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,778 Well, that was quite an adventure, 380 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,446 but I'm happy to be home. 381 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:01,324 - I'm happy you're back, too. - Where's Dad? 382 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:04,119 Oh, he had his 25th high school reunion. 383 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,912 And then whoever has the most points 384 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,289 is named the "Moose with the Most." 385 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,708 Any questions? 386 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,918 Yeah, if the show was so popular in Canada, 387 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,546 how come they never showed reruns in the States? 388 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,923 Good question. It was created by the CBC, 389 00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:20,218 which is a pipeline to the BBC, which ran it quite regularly, 390 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,137 but that preexisted BBC America, 391 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,347 so there was no U. S. system in place. Next. 392 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:28,143 Yeah, say you win a trip in the Moose Pit Challenge, 393 00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:31,938 but you're unable to go due to some previous conflict? 394 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,190 You have one calendar year to take the trip. 395 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:37,026 And if you win the Cash Bash, are you taxed on your winnings? 396 00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,779 You have to declare the gross amount on your taxes that year. 397 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,740 - Oh, sure. - Yeah, makes sense. 398 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:45,118 Guys, I've had 25 years to perfect this. You're not gonna stump me. 399 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:46,745 Yeah, you said it was the best-rated show 400 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,748 in Nunavut in the '90s, but Nunavut wasn't separated 401 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:53,002 from the Northwest Territories until 1999.